


you'll be the one thing in this world that won't hurt

by thecanary



Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: Coming Out, F/M, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, hm Peak Romance!, honestly it needed to be written and i'll do it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 15:21:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16746508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecanary/pseuds/thecanary
Summary: trans Phillip coming out to Anne, love in both of their hearts, and things go well, because they deserve it





	you'll be the one thing in this world that won't hurt

**Author's Note:**

> listen i can't proofread and i wrote this on a caffeine high but it needs to be said

Anne and Phillip were more than close. It was impossible for anyone to deny that the pair had found love in each other, that they had made a world for themselves that didn’t need approval from anyone else. Not that they lacked in approval from the people that really mattered. The circus folk, especially Lettie, Phineas and Charity, and their girls, they couldn’t be prouder of the pair. Society on a whole might have very well thought otherwise, but it wasn't like Phillip and Anne listened to those who spoke poorly of them. They were used to it. They were in a circus of all things, they were used to being told they were in the wrong. But even through all this closeness, all the love they felt for each other, they’d yet to be intimate, which gave each of them their own fears. 

“Anne, I… can we talk?” Phillip stuttered out one night. It was obvious he had something weighing down on him. 

Anne gave a hum of agreement, patting the bench seat beside her. They were in their trailer, Phillip finishing up his work for the night while Anne made small alterations to her costume, sewing up ripped stitches that had occurred through the day’s performance. She put the sewing aside into a basket that had all her spare threads and the like in it. 

“What is it?” she asked. 

Phillip took the offered seat beside her and a deep breath, his legs rigid and hands holding tight to his thighs. 

“It’s hard to say. I love you, Anne, I really do,” he said. 

The first traces of a frown appeared on Anne’s face, out of confusion rather than anything else. As much as it sounded like Phillip was about to leave her, she could only hope that that wasn’t the case. So instead, she nodded, not trusting herself to say anything out loud that wouldn’t just make the situation worse. 

“It’s important that you know this is all. I love you, and I want to give you the world, but,” Phillip paused. “Damn, this doesn’t sound genuine. I’m speaking with too many cliches. I guess what I want you to know is we can’t... I can’t have children with you. Not now, I never can. And it’s because of me, so I’m sorry, but -”

“Is it because of you? Or is it because of us?” Anne asked, interrupted Phillip, though he hardly felt like that wasn’t for the best, with his rambling hardly getting to the point. “Phil, we’ve already pushed against what society thinks of us, what it is thought that we should do. Are you telling me this is the one thing you don’t want to fight against?”

“I’m telling you this is something we can’t fight against,” Phillip replied, a weak, sad smile on his face, still apologetic. 

Anne shook her head. “I’m not buying that. We can fight anything, we can do anything, we need to make this world ours, and I’m not buying that you don’t want to do that with me.”

“I want to, Anne. More than anything in the world, I want to be able to. I would, I want to so badly, I can’t imagine what could be better than sharing that version of the world with you, but I can’t. It’s,” Phillip paused, taking a breath and shutting his eyes tight, not making eye contact with Anne again once he opened them. “It’s my body. I’m not… right.”

“You seem perfect to me,” Anne said, trying to be reassuring as she placed a hand on Phillip’s shoulder, only for him to shake his head. 

“No, it’s. When I was born, I seemed like a girl. My soul is that of a man, that’s who I am, you understand that?” 

Anne nodded slowly, the confusion she was feeling not out of worry so much anymore. 

“But my body doesn’t match that.”

A look of understanding sparked in Anne’s eyes. She’d not grown up in circuses, but she’d spent enough time in them to know a few people like Phillip, if she was understanding him right. Boys born as girls, girls born as boys, people who had been born somewhere in between, a bit of both or neither who lived as they wanted. Obviously they shouldn’t be a circus attraction on virtue of that alone, but the world sometimes didn’t give people what they deserved. 

“Oh,” she said, after a moment that felt to Phillip like hours or an eternity. She looked him in the eyes, a gentle smile on her face. “It’s okay. I understand.”

Phillip paused. “You do?”

The look of fear faded from his face gradually as Anne nodded, her comforting smile not wavering for a moment, her hand not moving from his shoulder. 

“I love you, Phillip.”

“I love you too,” he said, his eyes slightly wet from tears about to fall. “It breaks my heart that I can’t give you children, and that I can’t be the husband you deserve. But I love you, and I hope that that counts for something.”

“You are what I deserve, and this is who you are, and I love everything about you, and I’m not going to let this change that fact.”

Phillip could hardly reply to that, could hardly sum up what he was feeling into words in order to thank Anne. In his eyes, this was the best that the conversation could have gone, with Anne still loving him, and still wanting him in her life. He couldn’t think of more to ask for.

“Thank you,” he said emphatically, holding Anne’s hands in his own, teary smile on his face. 

Anne nodded again, her own smile one of determination, where she wasn’t about to let any of Phillip’s worries or anxieties come true. Choosing to be there for him was far from a hard decision. 

She pulled him into a tight embrace. 

“You’re good,” she said. “You’re alright. Everything’s okay, and I’ll never stop loving you.”


End file.
